Personal Assistant

I will now be cataloging everything that happened to me leading up to, during and after Sundance 2012.  This post was for the Huffington Post Sundance Diaries, but sadly, it was never published (to read the first one, click here). Here it is:

So now everyone has to wait for 10 days to tell anyone that my film got in to the festival.  This of course was incredibly hard for my mom to deal with.  But I couldn’t worry about her for too long because the massive amount of emails had already begun.  Stills, headshots, post acceptance form, filmmaker participation agreement, project survey, publicity materials, press kits, posters, press screeners, and of course, a print of the actual film all need to be made and sent. It has been a full time job gathering, making, finding, filling-out, calling, sending, receiving, emailing and maling off things.

All of this errand-running got me thinking:  Now that I am in Sundance, I think I should get a celebrity assistant.  Some of the people I think would make great CPA’s (Celebrity Personal Assistant) are: George Lucas for his merchandising know-how, Larry David for his interest in going out for every meal, Joel or Ethan Coen for an attention to detail, and of course, Gareth Keenan from the British ‘Office’ because of his devotion to military regulations and hand to hand combat know-how.

Sadly, I believe most of these people are far too successful and busy to become my CPA’s. Which is probably good because I don’t have any money to pay them anyway.  Perhaps I should go the unpaid intern route.  Here is my craigslist ad I created to find one.

Primary responsibility is to provide support to me in various forms.  Usually by accomplishing all the tasks I have no interest in doing.  Filling out forms and waiting in line at the post office will be your main objectives. Exciting skill building exercises that you will engage in daily are: eating Chinese food with me everyday in my car while listening to talk radio.

Basic familiarity with office practices and procedures as well as a thorough understanding of my temperament.

middle school diploma or better

1. Establish and maintain cooperative and effective working relationship with me.
2. Plan and organize work in a timely, punctual manner.  Make sure I do everything I am supposed to and nothing I am not. Find my keys and wallet.
3. Communicate effectively both verbally and in writing. Be able to order food and pick it up effectively as well as pay for it.
4. Operate a computer and other office equipment as assigned.  Fix my printer/scanner daily.

ENVIRONMENT: Will be very light and jovial.  We will laugh and I will usually be whistling Christmas tunes year round.  We will have witty and humorous banter.  Unless I am in a bad mood or hungover in which case the work environment could be incredibly hostile with me blaming just about everything on you.

I can neither pay you nor offer school credit.

Thanks- Drew Christie, Short Filmmaker


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